#newLOve

“There are poisons that will blind you and poisons that will open your eyes”...
-August Strindberg

I haven't stopped to think about what will actually happen to my blog once I do find that someone I want to be be with, build with, and love. With “New Bae” going back to school, “Bigg” having his hands full with projects and “DJ” not even paying attention to me anymore. And let's not forget about “Him”, I don’t even wants to know where his mind is. So finally after fuck boy after fuck boy I finally decided to give “This one” a try. With “This One” it was an experiment. I wanted a guy to fall in love with my personality before we had sex. It’s crazy our personalities turn each other on. I don’t know how to feel about “This One”. I just know what I’m feeling is completely different than what I was feeling about any other guy mentioned. The mental thought of cutting off all the other guys mentioned and is just being with “This one” is weird. Not sure if i'm ready for this but then again am I? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

Had a successful girls night last week. It’s good when all my female friends come together to network and exchange ideas. Building a brand takes time. But when you have a group of friends that actually becomes a part of your team, your brand expands, and what I mentioned about time doesn’t exist. I’m constantly thinking of new marketing strategies for my blog. Love our marketing campaign we came up with for the fall. I was kind of pissed to hear that “”My Ex” was starting a podcast about relationships. Funny I was going to do the exact same thing. In the end I don’t care. May the best podcast win homie. Besides you have to be very comfortable with the person you are deep down inside to fully confess anything concerning relationships. No I’m not throwing shade i'm speaking of a true metaphor of myself. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

I don't know what to seriously think about “This one”. I did everything as a millennial woman would do. Stalk Instagram likes comments and friend list, googled his name, go through our mutual friend list on facebook. Nothing came up at all. But I did find out he ran cross country in high school and was very successful at it. As I look at the time while blogging this, I noticed his flight is about to land soon. I go through my closet to find the perfect lingerie set. I haven't gotten sexy for a guy since the last time “Bigg” And I had sex. That was the beginning of the summer. After 10 lingerie sets I found the perfect one. All black and for “This one” I might pull out the red bottoms. I'm nervous. And I wish my bestfriend was here to help me get ready. Trying the set on looking in the mirror thinking what my first words would be when I open my front door and he sees me in this. “Okay”, I tell myself. I have 2 hours to get ready. I need to eat, drink wine, take a bath, prep “her”, make up, and set the mood. I got this. No big deal. But damn! I wish I knew the flaw going in with “This One”. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

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