#unbothered

“Them: What are you going to do? Your best friend is leaving you? Me: Live my best life”.
-A small conversation

​Lately, my energy has been in this at peace, un-bothered type of feel. Living by the words, “if it doesn't make me money or happy, I don’t want it. Even though at times, I want to cry at the amount of doubles I work in one week. But still, I am making more money and happy about doing it in an industry I would have never thought I would do so well in. I have a couple of small decisions to make before the end of the month. One, I need to look at getting new insurance. Two, I need to decide if I’m taking this other job offer or not. Three, I want to plan a trip somewhere by myself. My best friend and I have been spending a lot of time together since she is living with me. I’m excited for her new venture. But like a parent, I’m a nervous wreck. In the end, if I’m winning out here, I want my entire team winning too. 

It’s like every time the “Other Guy” and I take two steps forward we always go three steps back. And this time it didn’t involve me getting drunk or anything. I hate being lied to. Especially if we are not together. What’s the purpose? And that’s the problem. Consistently being lied to about his ex. You are not going to continue to fuck around with me and then go back to your ex. That’s just not cool homie. Tell me what is like how you opened up to me that night at the lake front. Surprisingly, I got phone call from “Him”. He apologized and didn’t want to leave “us” on a bad note. And you know what people, he is right. “Him” and I have history. But as we both agreed we need to change somethings about ourselves. I remember having a conversation about “Him” to old manager. As she says, he might be the right one for you just not now. Work on the things you want to work on. And let him do the same. When the time is right, the two of you will know and will be more than ready for each other. So to “Him” thank you for that call. It meant a lot to me. As fucked up as my love life is. I can say I am extremely happy I bossed up and got out that relationship with “My Ex”. It’s a shame seeing him going back and forth on twitter telling all his business about his new relationship. All I can say to is enjoy. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 

There are only two more weeks left in the month may and three more weeks total till my little sister graduates. I have to make some adult decisions real soon. Do I take this new job and work both jobs? What insurance plan to get it?  Does my budget plan make sense? How in the hell can I fit gym time in my schedule? In the end my head's not spinning trying to make all decisions. And who would have thought a girl from the Southside of Chicago with no morals about life would grow up into this adult world and go after what she wants. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.