“This intro might be a bit confusing. And to be honest I was a bit confused on what to write.”
-Thoughts to myself while editing this
I honestly don’t know how to feel. Some days I am ok and want to work things out. Other days, I’m wondering how in the fuck did we get here. And there are days like today. Where I am overly emotional and sad. Every relationship is different and ours was really different. Could it be that we fall in love too fast? Or were we really in love? Was it a true honeymoon phase? What didn’t I see all this before? I want to move on with my life and learn how to become happy again with being alone. And back to the woman I first was before the relationship. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“Social Media doesn't ruin relationships. Acting single does”.
-Some Instagram Meme
I have never been the type of woman to argue with anybody about what they put on their social media. I mean look at me, my name is literally, “don't date her”. But there is a huge difference when your significant other is blankly flirting with females. His stance was, “I put it in the comments so you can see it”. And for me, there shouldn’t ever have been any flirting in the first place. I never knew of someone who cares more about his tik tok than he does trying to fix his relationship. And that is something I have to consider if I want to go back to him. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
-George Benard shaw
Everyone says communication is the key to any relationship. And while they might be right they are also wrong. Comprehension is. There were times where I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings to him. There were times where he shut down and didn’t want to communicate with me. I wish we had more sit-down conversions where we both can understand where each other is coming from versus yelling matches that ended up bad. When you are building with someone it’s very important to see things from the other’s perspective. And if that means taking a day to reflect and revisit the conversation then please do so. A lot of times, things won't get solved right away. But I have learned that as a woman it is important to focus on the things you can control at that time of heated arguments, which is myself. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“Don’t Rush the Process!”-My Big Cousin Joy
So here I am sitting back at my old apartment wondering how we can make this work. We went from loving one another to living together to being blocked on social media accounts to not living together to just wondering. I told myself I wanted this to be the last relationship. I was avoiding trying to feel anything. So I took a step back from everyone to really process how I feel. And still don’t know what to feel or how to feel. All I can do is take things day by day and focus on the now. Every love story has a different meaning. And every love story has a different tale to tell. But damn, why do mines keep ending like this. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.