Bitter Sweet

The nights I can’t sleep…I stay up and write…..

I thought I had another one. When I say another one, I mean “he might could be the one” another one. I guess I gave in too fast. And like the others, this one didn’t last. I really liked him because he was different. He didn’t drink or smoke, he just different. Granted I had a crush on him for a while. But see the way our lifestyles were set up, we didn’t grow close. He had to be the first guy in a while, to take me out and actually court me. I loved it. And even his first night when he spent the night, he didn’t try to sleep with me. He slept on the couch. Funny thing is, I really tried to make this work. I left all of my “crazy” ways to the side and never showed him. I felt like the chemistry was there. I thought it truly was. Everyone has their opinion about someone and maybe “their” opinions reflected heavily on his view of me. The other day I had a dream that a pig was following me. In my dream this pig was calling my name. The whole time I was telling the pig how I couldn’t take him home because he dirty. I begged the pig to start eating dirt so I can take him home. The pig didn’t listen. I guess the moral of the dream was this, to let go of all the dirty negative people in your life. Some things just aren’t meant to be. While writing this I decided to call him. Of course no answer and well people there is my answer. No matter how bad you might want something in your life to be, something’s are better left bitter sweet. And this situation ship left one huge bitter taste to me. ​