"Woman is the nigger of the world"...
Last night I went home by myself to myself. No one night stands, no 2 am booty calls, no one to answer back my text or calls. I wondered, is there something wrong with me? After 30 minutes of crying to "My Ex" all because no one wanted to take the pretty dark skin girl home, he explained to me that this could be my "Dry Spell". A dry spell is when a person doesn't have intimacy with anyone for a period of time. It could last for weeks or months. As horny as I was last night, I'm hoping mine only last for a week or two. However, this dry spell could work out in my favor. Maybe I do need more time to realize some things about myself. Or this could be a way for me to explore what qualities I am looking for in a man. I drunk texted "My Bestfriend" and told him how I felt about him. Could it be true that I like him more than a friend? If time did permit last night would we have had sex? I want him, but see being the emotional person I am right now, I would want more than sex. A part of me wants this dry spell to take its course. A part of me wants to give it all to "My Bestfriend". No text back from all the guys I know in my phone. For the first time in a long time, I had no action. Is this one of the qualities of being a single independent black woman that can hold her on? Last night when I was at the club I brought my own drinks. Didn't look for a guy to offer to pay and even if they did, I said "no thank you, I got it". Did I intimidate them by saying this? Is this the reason why no one wanted to take me home? "My Ex", explained to me that sometimes it's a good thing if a guy doesn't try to take you home. That means he respect you as a woman. Besides, me sending "My Prince" that DM last night and his response has changed some views. As I get ready to walk off the train and into my job, I can only wonder about this dry spell and how would it effect me emotionally. Once again, I'm leaving it all on the blog and closing that chapter between me and him.