"I was never raised to replace a man, I was raised to become more than a woman"
I woke up this morning happy. For the past two days, I have been deciding what factors in my life are important and what aren't. I have learned to let some people go and how I felt about them. Had a long conversation with "My Love". We talked about what we could have done and decided the future of us. There is no future for us together. As bad as we want there to be one, at this point we can't. We are in two different stages of our lives. He is ready to settle down and be more with his kids. And me, well I'm more career focused than anything. I want my career over love. I guess that's the thing with being a young black independent woman. You are in love with your goals and dreams more than the person who loves you. I love all the positive feed back that I'm receiving from everyone about this career change. Truth be told, I'm nervous. A lot has changed at the Chicago office since I left. What if the team there doesn't like me? What if I fail? My VP expressed that me being nervous is a good thing. That if I wasn't nervous I was too comfortable. And with me being as ambitious as, I am I should never be comfortable. I should always want to achieve more. The fact my company would give me this opportunity and would do this for me and only me and no one else shows they truly value me. I would be a fool not send my email of acceptance for this role. Haven't really heard from "My Bestfriend". Maybe he is going through it. Maybe us crossing that line of intimacy made him uncomfortable to talk to me. But what ever it is, I hope he is okay. I valued our talks about life over the sex. The sex was good but a woman of my kind loves hours of talk about the universe. It's still unbelievable to think back to last year around this time. I was getting ready to pack up my life and move to New York. Now I'm getting to pack my life up and move back to Chicago. Last year on this day, I remember saying this feels right. This morning I woke up thinking, this feels right. According to "My Weed Man", men love a challenge and that I need to make them work for me. Then I will find someone that loves and respects me for everything that I want in life. I guess that's what is all about, taking on new challenges and roles. As I walk out the 51st train station to Madison ave I thought about all the challenges this city has thrown to me. At the end of it all, It became a good thing. So here is to me the strong independent black woman that's more ambitious than anything!