Real Love...

I told myself I didn't want to be single again on Valentine's Day this year. But from the looks of it, that just might be the case. I started talking to "Tip" again but that quickly ended. Ladies any guy who lets you dress up In a sexy dress and gets your make up on fleek mode just to stand you up for a sushi dinner is no good for you. So me being the grown woman I am now, let it go and moved on. No crying over spoiled milk. Just go to the store and buy more. I thought by now I would be dating someone that I could potentially fall in love with. But seeing that I'm still not in a comfortable spot in my career where I could balance it all. I'm starting to have some feelings for "someone" that I have known for a very long time. However that is also going out the window. He was the guy I would call over after a night of partying and drinking. I thought to myself maybe I could invite him just for some cuddle time. And that's what I did. But this brilliant plan of mine failed. Granted i was on my Mother Nature but I still could feel him filling me up. I want someone who wants me for me. That's what I keep telling myself. It's those times when I have my moments about being raped and how I let that influence my choice of moving back to Chicago, where I think I am truly mentally ready to be In relationship. But like my therapist said, sometimes things happen for a reason and we might not know what that reason is but we all sooner than later find out. You might think what a crazy thing to say, but in reality with what I'm going through, what could you possibly say. At this point i want to take everything one step at a time. But damn, I'm turning 25 in three weeks. I have to figure out the future five years of my life. Love will come eventually but I need to focus on my career. So here is to me for sending submit on this email to my manager about a possible career change. Wish me luck!