“Them: What are you going to do? Your best friend is leaving you? Me: Live my best life”.
Lately, my energy has been in this at peace, un-bothered type of feel. Living by the words, “if it doesn't make me money or happy, I don’t want it. Even though at times, I want to cry at the amount of doubles I work in one week. But still, I am making more money and happy about doing it in an industry I would have never thought I would do so well in. I have a couple of small decisions to make before the end of the month. One, I need to look at getting new insurance. Two, I need to decide if I’m taking this other job offer or not. Three, I want to plan a trip somewhere by myself. My best friend and I have been spending a lot of time together since she is living with me. I’m excited for her new venture. But like a parent, I’m a nervous wreck. In the end, if I’m winning out here, I want my entire team winning too.
It’s like every time the “Other Guy” and I take two steps forward we always go three steps back. And this time it didn’t involve me getting drunk or anything. I hate being lied to. Especially if we are not together. What’s the purpose? And that’s the problem. Consistently being lied to about his ex. You are not going to continue to fuck around with me and then go back to your ex. That’s just not cool homie. Tell me what is like how you opened up to me that night at the lake front. Surprisingly, I got phone call from “Him”. He apologized and didn’t want to leave “us” on a bad note. And you know what people, he is right. “Him” and I have history. But as we both agreed we need to change somethings about ourselves. I remember having a conversation about “Him” to old manager. As she says, he might be the right one for you just not now. Work on the things you want to work on. And let him do the same. When the time is right, the two of you will know and will be more than ready for each other. So to “Him” thank you for that call. It meant a lot to me. As fucked up as my love life is. I can say I am extremely happy I bossed up and got out that relationship with “My Ex”. It’s a shame seeing him going back and forth on twitter telling all his business about his new relationship. All I can say to is enjoy. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
There are only two more weeks left in the month may and three more weeks total till my little sister graduates. I have to make some adult decisions real soon. Do I take this new job and work both jobs? What insurance plan to get it? Does my budget plan make sense? How in the hell can I fit gym time in my schedule? In the end my head's not spinning trying to make all decisions. And who would have thought a girl from the Southside of Chicago with no morals about life would grow up into this adult world and go after what she wants. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“In life no one can you make you happy other than you”
Successfully completed my first week as a full timer at the bar. I was surprised how much money I made in tips. I think this is a sign to great decision I made. My mom still is on the fence about me quitting TC. But at this point my happiness is all that counts. Still can’t believe that after working for years for that company, I made the choice to leave. It doesn’t seem real. On my last day, I cried. Not because I was sad, but because I was happy for myself and my coworkers were happy for me as well. I took some time off from my blog to focus on working at the bar. I canceled all my meetings I had for my blog just to have more time to relax to myself. I’ve never had so much free time on my hands during the day that I don’t know what to do anymore. Do I catch up on shows that I’ve missed? Do I spring clean my apartment? Do I say “fuck it” and sleep all damn day? These are the questions that I am still seeking answers to.
As my career life strengthens, my love life still sucks. Not to mention how crazy my hormones were raging this past week. This is the part when I begin to hate how many guys I have curved for the “Other Guy”. How my “Hood Nigga” is an actual hood nigga and I often times I really don’t want him to know where I live. After hitting up the “Other Guy”, my “Hood Nigga”, and even “King” all for some sex and no one answered for me; I wanted to go on a wild rampage but didn’t. Instead I deleted their numbers. I’m done. I don’t like to chase. If I feel as if I have to chase you, then I don’t want you. I guess you can say I’m a little selfish when it comes this topic. But I don’t care. None of them are trying to build with me, so why not use them for what I want? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Still in shock about the amount of money I made in one week at the bar. I had a set goal and hit more than what I expected. Still thinking about getting another job just so I can stay busy and also have more money to invest in this blog. But down the fall of that is I won’t have enough time for the blog or family. Especially since my great grandmother is sick and my little sister is graduating high school. Besides all that, my best friend moved in with me until she moves to Houston next month. I think the one thing that I missed the most when I was working both jobs is spending my time doing absolutely nothing. My off days were never off days. So days like today where I’m off and officially have nothing to do or like Thursday where I have the entire morning to myself will be strange. Sometimes you have to stop to enjoy the world and the people that’s in it. That’s just life. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
More than just a blogger is what she calls herself. Tatiana at the current age of 26 has built a blog based on her life. She touches on juggling love relationships, dating, family, and a successful career. Trying to find the common ground balance of them of all, she finds herself in sticky situations every time. Although she is learning to see the brighter side of things and holding herself accountable of her life, Tatiana is hoping her growth in her 20s will leave a powerful impact amongst other young women out there.