“It’s going to be okay. Life is just throwing you more lemons. And just like the previous times, make some dope as lemonade”….
I got really drunk the other night to point where I felt a part of my old self-trying to come back. I was out with the “Other Guy”, my best friend, and his friends. I haven’t gotten this drunk around him since my birthday. I told myself I was not going to get that Lit again. But it happened. And once again, I fucked up with another guy. I guess the universe is really trying to tell me to not date anyone right now. Just be cool, calm, and collective. My best friend says everything will be fine between us. Just have to give him some time. But let’s be honest. Would you give a chick another chance if she goes off on you when she’s drunk just because you won’t stay the night at her house? But then again this is the same guy who was an asshole to me a couple of weeks ago. See…All the more reasons why not to date her.
It’s official; the cat is out the bag at my company. In two weeks, I would be leaving a company that I have worked 4 years at. I’m leaving and following my goals. I would be lying if I didn’t say how scared I am, but I’m doing it. And it feels right. Just like the move to New York. If I don’t this now, I never will. Everyone keeps saying how big of an adult decision I made by doing this. I think this is by far the second biggest life decision I have ever made. I think the reason why I’m so nervous is because I will be working at the bar and working my way up to management. And yet tips can be good, I don’t want to struggle. I keep going back and forth with my finances making one budget plan after another. Figuring out what things I can cut back on. I didn’t like that old me that was struggling. I was always stressed and drunk way too much. Our Vegas trip is in two days. I’m excited. I am ready to have some fun and leave all my worries in Chicago. I don’t want to worry about anything: finances, the “Other Guy”, DJ, my family, or my career. Even though my best friend and I are typically good about not getting super Lit when we are out of the state, this trip I’m really going to watch my drinking. But like I said, I’m ready to leave all my worries behind and have some fun.
It’s now 3am and I have been writing this blog for an hour. Trying to the let the words from my thoughts flow. But at this point, they are everywhere. I was feeling fine until I got drunk with my emotional ass the other night. Now I just feel weird and unbalanced. It’s funny I can make successful decisions when it comes to my career but when it comes to dating and my social life, I have somethings to work on. I know I’m not perfect and I don’t expect to be. Hey the “Other Guy”, if you reading I’m sorry and hopefully we can still be cool. I spent so much time thinking how not to fuck up, that I actually was fucking up. See the irony in this? Maybe that’s why you shouldn’t date her.