#AnxietyPart1.

“Let me stop and think before I start to make impulsive decisions”….
-5am thoughts.....

Just a lil intro back into writing for my viewers..


It’s like this. Once you start something you gotta keep going to see the end results. I must admit, having writers block is no fun. Especially when it's your outlet for everyday life. My anxiety has risen because of this. Sleepless nights of over dramatically thinking. And my choice of wanting to make impulsive decisions. I have times where I want to scream out loud because I can’t sleep or can’t turn my thoughts off. I first notice that I had an anxiety problem when I was moving to New York. It got worse last summer during my quarter life crisis. The anxiety attacks or known as “panic attacks” kicks after my third night of not sleeping. I take countless of cold showers and many times telling myself to take deep breathes. My panic attacks always happen when I’m alone in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Sometimes it hard for me to cope with the outside world after I have a panic attack. So I stay inside and sleep all day. For the past month, this has been me. I do a damn good job by covering it up. Telling people I’m tired from work. I refuse to tell myself that I’m depressed or going through depression because I know I’m not. I just have to figure somethings out in life first. People reading this may wonder, why am I sharing this. And honestly I thought about that while writing this. Because it’s my blog about my life and that would be rude of me to not share this. And I’m pretty sure it’s countless of other people going through the same thing. So maybe I should take a step back from drinking for a while, take a step from trying to pursue my relationship with “This One”. Take a step back and look my finances again. Take a step back and view politics and what’s truly going on this world. Take a step back and look at my career goals. Take a step and view life on a different pedestal that I have not been viewing it on. Anxiety makes you loose yourself for a minute. And you don’t have that mentality to rangler everything back into one, you will be lost forever. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.