#June1st

“Just because my path is different, doesn’t mean I’m lost” 
-Just a thought

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Here I am sitting reflecting on the month of May. Lots of changes. New goals were accomplished and I can successfully say making that vast career move from working in a corporate field to bartending was the best thing I could have done. And just like I thought, I’m making “good money”. I am still struggling trying to find the right insurance for me. But, I have until next week Monday to make a final decision. My little sister prom is this Saturday and I am more than excited for it. Can’t believe my baby sis is halfway grown and is living her dream of going to Spelman University. I’m hoping she doesn’t be like me and hop from school to school and fall in love and move in with a 30 something year old guy who doesn’t have his shit together. In two weeks my best friend will be leaving me. It’s been a wild crazy ride her staying with me for the past month. We fight like sisters but have that type of relationship where we could talk things out. Needless to say, no panic attacks at all. And to me that says a lot about my life now. 
 
Made the final decision to not hit up the “Other Guy” anymore. It doesn’t feel right. And I still think the “Other Guy” and his ex are getting back together. How can I possibly build a relationship with that always on my mind. Went out Memorial day weekend. Didn’t drink too much. I met two new guys. One is the “Football player”. I went back to his hotel after leaving the club on Saturday. Sex was amazing and he seems very interested me. Told me to stay in bed and order room service. That Sunday I was late for work. But hey you would be too if he told you the same thing. On Sunday during my shift I met this “Special kind of Guy”. It was one of things were we just wanted to be friends but later that night after hanging out with him, I can tell we could be something more. The difference between these new guys I met vs the “Other Guy” is their not cocky, very down to earth, and are making plans to see me. Through our conversations, I can relate to them more. But, the “Other Guy” knows me better than them. And was there through my panic attacks.But above all of them “Bigg” still has my heart. I am being as patient as I am with “Bigg” only because he is a “Big Deal” right now in the industry. I want to keep us as private as possible. My other friend says “Tati” you are living every girl's dream right now”. But am I really? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 
 
The “Football Player” is coming back this weekend. I told him we would hang out. Between my little sister’s prom and me needing to focus on getting more money, I am going to be on Ice mode for the weekend. One thing that I have mastered in the month of May is being totally in control of myself and my actions. With me working in a bar now, it puts a different perspective on me drinking and having some type of self awareness. I am happy I took this month only work one job and focus on myself. I got so much sleep in! I think at one point my best friend thought I was pregnant because of me sleeping so much. But it’s now June 1st and 6 more months remaining in this year. A lot more goals to be accomplish and more big decisions to be made. Maybe my friend is right. I am living every girl’s dream or just living out mine. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. ​