#March15th

“Just a small update for my readers...it’s only right”...

Its 2:50 and instead of me waking up out of a luxurious nap, I’m here blogging. My sleep pattern lately has been all off. It's going to be even more off this weekend. I am literally working doubles back to back 9am until 3am and hoping to get at least 3 hours of sleep in between. I’m not complaining because I need the money. And if you have been following this blog then you know how much of a workaholic I am. I have no time for anyone this week. I guess you can say I’m trying to get back to the old me. Being alone and working. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

I told myself this week I was stop drinking since im working doubles. And after last Sunday I just might. According to my best friend, I called myself trying to pop up at “This One” birthday party at a strip club. I was drunk out of mind and basically angry since I wasn’t invited. I then called the “Young Boy” to come over. But he didn’t want to. I cursed him out. I said some really mean things including threatening his job. I next called “DJ” to come over. I rolled with the next morning with him laying next to me. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

I went to get a massage for the first time. I figured this would be a better alternative for my anxiety than working out. And it worked. But you want to know what crazy people, I woke up Wednesday angry. I sat on the side of my bed and cried. I felt angry with myself that I allowed all these guys to take up my energy. I was in a happy place before I met “This One”. But I used “The Young Boy” as a distraction from “This One”. And then I called “DJ” because I felt lonely, horny, and drunk. I have to protect my energy! See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

I wish I could sit and type more but now its pushing 320 and I need to shower and leave out for work. It’s going to be a long weekend. But maybe this is the distraction that I need. To work and be at peace with myself. The hardest thing in life is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s called growth. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.