#Springcleaning2019

“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you will accept in life, you’ll you find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that is far below what you deserve.”
-Anthony Robbins

Coming back from Vegas, I didn’t expect to get a phone call from “This Light Skin fella” girlfriend. Now it all makes sense. I always had the thought he was going to go back to her or was already somewhat back with her. But never thought she would call my phone asking who I was. I was angry, upset at myself. That’s not the type of woman I am. I’m bout my money and my business. I don’t have time for all the unnecessary drama. After a day of apologies. I let him come back. Obviously, that was a mistake. A week later what happens, another phone call, text, and drama through social media. As a woman, I felt embarrassed, disappointed in myself, and angry. My peace, tranquility of respect was destroyed by one little text message that was sent to her by an “anonymous person.” See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

While in Vegas, of course, I had to meet up with an old fling. And guess what people, all the feelings for him came back. Not to mention he won the respect of my owner and managers. I started to think if it was possible for us to do a long distance relationship again. I thought about the time we tried it while I was living in New York. It was a mess, and we stopped talking for a whole year. Our lifestyles were different years ago. He was going through somethings, and I was trying to get settled in New York. I can honestly say we are both at a better point in our lives now. And If I wanted to get on a flight and see him, I could now. For a moment, I completely forgot about “The Light Skin Fella,” while out there. That’s how much we love each other. If only I could let my pride and fears go and be in this long distance relationship with him, I would. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

I had a conversation with my therapist regarding somethings I have experienced over the past week. She mentioned how I hold onto grudges and have to learn how to move on when things are not in my control. And moving forward that’s what I intend to do.  I remember when I was at that point where I was at peace with myself. That’s because I practiced self-care and also I was just a little worker bee. Today I woke up in Houston with my phone on do not disturb mode. All emails are off, and I’m not responding to any text messages or phone calls. I needed time to be alone and actually, write. Peace of mind. Regain and restore my energy. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

“A vacation is time to clear your head and not always about the turn-up. It’s well needed relaxing, and that’s what you need”-Kierra

I’m ready to go back to Chicago, but I’m also not prepared to go back to Chicago. Reflecting back to the series of events with “The Light Skin Fella.” I really think it’s time to let him go. Can’t have a situation like that fucking up energy or peace. Maybe if he was honest in the beginning, we could have worked things out. Trying to find a healthy balance between my job and blog is tough especially in this new role. But coming back, I might be up for the challenge. I go always go by never cry over spilled milk. Get some paper towel and clean it up. And even though my energy is way off, that might be the affirmation I need to tell myself daily to get to me. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.