#RealFriends Pt.1

It’s been a while since I actually posted a blog. Usually, I blog about men and my relationships, but this new blog post is dedicated to friendships. I have always wanted a huge friend group. I remember seeing my mom and her friends going out to the Cotton Club, The 50/50 Lounge, and even E2 back in the ’90s. They would party all night and get up in the morning and still go to work and handle their business. My mom’s friend circle consists of strong black educated women. And even if someone were to slip up, there was my mom making sure to fix their friend’s crown. I have learned from my mom’s friend circle that no matter how much time has passed, they always make sure to check on one another. For a long time, I wondered if I was ever going to have a similar friend group. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 

“That’s not your Friend” -Some Black Mothers in the 90’s.

I grew up in a household with all my cousins. We weren’t allowed to say anyone else was our friend because, according to our mothers, we were all we needed. So I didn’t get my first absolute best friend until I was in middle school. My mother did her best to try to explain to me what a “friendship” means. But you’ll know me; I’m “hard headed” at times, impulsive, and dramatic ass fuck. So I had to learn the hard way. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 


“We pick our friends, but real-life situations sort them out” .-Instagram Meme.

As a woman in the Chicago entertainment scene, I’ve always watched who I let around me. Some people were around me to get into all of the clubs, events, etc., for free. Some people were around me for clout. Others were around me to fuck a guy that I was dating at that time. I had to learn to be very observant of people and their actions before allowing them into my life. I am very protective of the people around me. I am that crazy friend that would be down for whatever! But, I am also that friend you can depend on no matter what. With that being said, my ideal friend group has to do the same. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 

“A wise man once told me don’t argue with fools. Because people from a distance can’t tell who is who”.
​-Jay-Z
Have you ever had to remove a friend from your life because you could no longer vibe with them? Have you ever had an ex-friend try to tarnish your name or brand because you no longer wanted to be friends with them? Have you ever had an ex-friend accuse you of something you know damn well a friend should not do? Have you ever had an ex-friend try to make y’all other friends take sides? I know sometimes I can come off as being a bitch. I know my attitude can be horrible some days. I know I often work too much. I know there are things that I don’t hold myself accountable for. I know there are some situations where I need to apologize to people. Just like any relationship, a friendship also has its ups and downs. And just like relationships, it takes two to tango. To me, a real friend is someone who can admit when they’re wrong in a situation. To me, a real friend accepts who you are no matter what. To me, a real friend will tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it. To me, a real friend is someone who encourages you and embraces you. I have dealt with a lot of unhealthy relationships when it comes to men. The last thing I need is an unhealthy relationship with “friends.” This is just part one. There is more to come. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.