And I call this...untitled ....

"The things he constantly brings up about me". Why do I even matter in your relationship?"
-Thoughts from The crazy Ex-girlfriend

Went straight from the club to the airport. Honestly this mini vacation is what I needed. It's been so much going on in Chicago. Trying to find my way in a new office while also prepping for all three court cases against "My Ex". New York felt like home all over again. All the love that I received and courage of inspiration back there. A part of me misses it. The city that is. That rush of grind mode feeling of being a part of that city. The fast pace lifestyle is what I truly missed more. Didn't get a chance to see "My weed man" or my "my best friend". Simply didn't have time. Instead I worked and relaxed. I'm excited to know this year I can spend the holidays with my family. And after all I really missed my moms cooking. 2nd year for me being single on holidays and no thought of that train of thought comes to mind. I have gotten to the point where I'm comfortable and don't care about having a new fling. I do however have my eye on a couple of guys. But I'm really not that invested in them as I normally would be. The fact is, it's holiday season. It cuddle weather. Everyone wants that one person just for the cuddle weather. Nah not me! Im good. Less problems to worry about. I started to date this guy name "chef". I brought "chef" around my family just to see how well he gets along with everyone. To my surprise he is able to make conversation with everyone. He is a free spirit just like me. One thing about "chef" is I can't quite seem to figure him out. Like one minute he talks about being in a relationship and then the next minute he talks about taking our time and getting to know one another. Very confusing and as a young black independent women I don't need another confusing thing in my life right now. Another thing about "Chef" is he's not showing no type of urgency to actually date me. Granted he is a chef so he can cook whatever meal he pleases. And I totally get that fact that he does have a kid so things might be tight there. But, I'm the type of person that likes to go out. I'm not asking to spend 200 on a meal but I'm simply asking for more than just a night cap with a meal and Netflix. Not saying my standards of dating are high but Netflix and chill is not on this woman's agenda every time "Chef" wants to hang out. Yes ladies the sex was amazing. But it's going to take more than just amazing sex to win this young black independent woman over. Speaking of sex, I didn't like the way he came about having sex with me. I mean damn can we just cuddle and lay together? So why does spending the night have to turn into sex? Why is it when a FEMALE'S says no, males feel the need to push up on us even more? I must admit it made me feel uncomfortable. FURTHERMORE who gives a shit when a guy says "he's not like the other guys". Honestly men, we all know that's bullshit so please just stop. So as I sit here and think can I see myself with "Chef"; truth is I can't. And maybe it's me not wanting to date yet, but whatever it is maybe I can use him just for those late night one offs. Or better cut off all ties. Sometimes in life it's better to burn bridges because it prevents you from crossing them again. And this bridge I'm burning with "My Ex" seems to find its way back to me. So here is to me. For taking three days to write this blog all while having my eye on "the one".