Just a perspective on my life right now. There is a deeper side of me besides the men I date. These are challenges that I face on a day to day basis. Hoping this inspires the next person. Just know you are not alone in this…..
Some days I’m fine I can cope with the world. I feel like everything is going to be okay. I’m pushing through all the obstacles in my life. I’m not worried or stressed about anything because I know everything will turn out in my favor. Then its days like today, where I wake up and feel everything is a horrible dream. How am I going to make it through this month or next? I went on countless job interviews but no one is calling me back. I don’t want to be around anyone. I just want to lay in bed and be by myself. I’m more to myself than I ever was before. I know I have to keep moving because that is the only way to survive through this depression. But damn, all I can think about is “when will it be my time”. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
It’s kinda hard when you are on both sides of the fence when it comes to this protest today. One part of me thinks this is going to suck because I’m not going to make money but the other part of me understands why this is taking place and the area its taking place in. I can’t say I’m not nervous about today. And I always think about what if I encounter the wrong table that is more outspoken. I can tell when a table doesn’t want me as their server. But I’m always polite and go the extra mile. What if today is that day I do encounter the outspoken table. I logged off facebook because of the comments pertaining the protest. One person even commented how he will be standing on the sideline with water balloons filled with kitty litter and water. And what’s sad is I might have to serve these people today. Lately, I’m having “eye opening days”. And today was my “eye opening day” about the world. Everyone around me keeps reassuring that I will be okay. But will I really be okay? See the irony in this all the more reasons why not to date her.
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