“If ur not creative, don’t fall in love with a creative...Save yourself”
I took a break from this blog to make sure my overall life goals are lining up in my current roles. And to be honest, after spending some time alone to think about things moving back to New York is not right move for me. If my end result is to make money off this blog, why move to another state where I would be working up to three jobs just to live comfortably. Not saying I could potentially land a gig where I could put all that to rest, but I know the person I am. I like working at least two jobs because it keeps me busy and as sad as it may sound, “out of trouble”. For the past month, I have sleeping by myself and working on myself. Didn’t realize it was a year since I left my old company and starting bartending full time. One of my old coworkers texted me and asked me how do I feel about it. To be honest I am happy. Sometimes money is stressful because you never know what type of week you may end up with. But working at the bar has taught me a lot about people in the world and how to become a better hustler and a manipulative person. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
The other reason why I have been spending so much time alone is because of my long distance relationship with “My Love”. Even though we have our problems to work out, I don’t want to do anything that would interfere with us. The other day I got really mad because I wanted to see him over the weekend. Our schedule didn’t match up. As a matter of fact, its not matching up until June. Then in June he will have his kids for the summer. I really wanted to take a baecation before his kids came back for the summer. Maybe one day he will surprise me for the weekend. Maybe one day, I will come home and he will be here waiting for me. But I don't want to get my hopes up. All I can day is take this day by day. And hopefully in the end this will be all worth it. I just wish he would call/text (check in) with me more often. But like I said we both work a lot but then again should that prompt us to make time to check in with each other more right? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Next we have my hormones raging like a 14 year old going through puberty of course. Ever experience a wet dream that was so good. It felt real. In fact real enough to the point where I woke up in the position I thought I was having sex in (missionary from the back). And lately they have been coming like clock worth. Now, I have thought about going through my phone book and dialing up some numbers. Then the thoughts of why I stopped talking to them in the first place always crosses my mind. It’s like I have a conscious on having sex. WHO THE FUCK AM I NOW?! Recently “This One” and I have been back on talking terms. And though I miss our sex, think about our sex while masurabting, and he has the been the guy multiple times in my wet dreams; I can’t get over the fact how much of my time he wasted. And even though I want to tell him all my sexual desires (because he loved it when I did that), I can’t stop thinking what if he doesn’t feel the same. Like I can’t imagine someone rejecting sex from me. And honestly don’t want to get denied sex. That would be one of the worst feelings in the world as a female. So I am going to keep all my nasty little thoughts to myself and try to move on. But I am Tati and I am known to be ticking bomb. So are going to watch our liquor consumption and patiently wait until “My Love” and I have some time. I just feel very sorry for his penis when we do. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
This long distance relationship is actually really good for me. I’m spending more time in the gym, wanting to come home and actually sleep instead of being out all night, and finally, being able to get up and write this blog. Getting in tune with myself is what I am calling it. Not sure how to end this post. But I am ending it. Its my off day and I have a billion things I want to do. So until next time people, keep ya nasty thoughts to yourself, drink water, and eat right. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.