#theChangeUp

“Good things comes to those who wait”.....-Unknown Person

So it wouldn't be life if I didn't have another major event to happen to me. I dislocated my shoulder and had to call off work for a whole entire week. I cried, screamed, and wanted to pass out. "WHAT THE FUCK!", I thought. How could this be happening? I thought I was on a roll with my life. Doing new things. Working two jobs again. But everything happens for a reason. And whatever this reason is, def has me sitting at home rethinking my life decisions. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

When men are sat in their ways, there is no trying to change them. They may change how they do things with you or towards you but their character will stay the same. And at that moment you gotta realize when to step away or stay. But if you stay you risk wasting your time. Like I said, this week has me re-thinking some life decisions. I think it's time for me to completely break it off with "My Love".  After 11 years, he will never change. After 11 years I'm still not the only one. The whole phrase, "I'm good luv enjoy" came out last night in a text after asking who he was going out of town with. Say I'm overreacting if you want to. But ladies let's be real, if he wasn't going out of town with a female then he would have answered the question instead of being argumentative. Here I am in between jobs and with a fractured shoulder and he goes out of town with another female. But then I should have known when he ex-baby mama asked him to pay her rent. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

Chicago men are interesting. Yesterday I was walking home from the hair shop. Had my arm in a sling. Minding my own business, I hear "I would fuck the shit out of you with that broken arm shorty".If I wasn't in a crippled state of mind, I would’ve ran. Went out for tacos on Monday with "This One". Nothing sexual happened. But I do miss spending time with him. My best friend asked me would I ever consider going back into a situation-ship with him. And to be honest people, I would but not right now. He is still in the process of trying to find a condo to buy and me, I'm still in between jobs. We both are not ready yet. But I do still masturbate to the thought of him and I having very nasty disrespectful sex. Maybe one we will have a conversation about the future with us but until then I will value our friendship more than anything. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.

Besides dating, my financial stability also gives me anxiety. And it’s because of the industry I work in. One week you can make over 2,000 and the next you may make only 300. I like working in the industry because I like connecting with people and never know who you may meet. I don't want to work two jobs right now. But if I had to, I wouldn't mind working at two different bars. So here I am stuck between my vision for my life, my goals, and my financial freedom. The best advice that was given to me this week was from my hair stylist. She said, "Tati don't let your pride get in the way of your money". As a black independent young woman, I have hella PRIDE! But if I want work for myself by the time I'm 30, then I have to make a step back. So I am finishing this post up. Getting ready for an interview with a fractured shoulder and a small chat with my old GM. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.