#SoGone

“Each morning peace arrives at your door in form of choices” 
        -Some Instagram Meme

I didn’t want to take a break from life. But at that moment the universe knew it was time for me to take a step back. It was time for me to go into hermit mode. It was time to get back to being okay with being by myself. It was time for a big change. It was time for healing. It was time for me to recognize my worth. It was time for me to tune out all the bullshit and focus on what life has to offer itself. It was time for me to appreciate life in ways I’ve never had before. And to do this, I had to be “So Gone”. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 

“What she do…I do better. What she did to make you love her. Is it real or forever? Baby, please help me stay together…”
-Monica, So Gone Lyrics

And just like that, it all fell apart. “The New Love of My Life” will never be considered the love of my life anymore. He broke me. And at some point as a woman, I asked myself why. I questioned my worth. I cried, I screamed, I shouted to the mountain tops. Instead, I got no answers to the questions I thought. Instead, I got a sold-out second book. Instead, I got a sponsorship deal with a major liquor brand. Instead, I found what it means to truly be at peace and not live in chaos. Instead, I found out what it means to have the ball in my court by all means as a woman. Instead, I am growing into this new woman who I don’t know. But I am very excited to find out who she is and what impact she can make in this world. Instead, I found out what it means to be so gone from insecure narcissist bullshit. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. 

“If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow.”
-Buddha

My favorite quote to always say is, “when life throws lemons at you, make lemonade.” Well, friends, at the beginning of June, I didn’t know how to make lemonade out of the lemons life had thrown at me. I just knew I had to be still and be to myself. I had to shut the world out. I wouldn’t call it to doubt that I had within myself, it was more a fear to move on. And how to move on with life. It’s scary to go from having an abundance of people around you to being alone. At that moment of darkness, I found my light. And even though I’m still in my healing phase, I am happy to know that I am “So Gone” from those dark days. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.