“There are two types of tired. One that requires sleep. One that requires peace. Protect your energy”. - Some Post from FaceBook
I haven’t blogged in a while…. So excuse me if my thoughts are everywhere in this post…
“I just don’t have the mental capacity to deal with us anymore”. My exact words to “This Light Skin Fella for the past couple of days. And after several tries of saying “I’m done” to each other, I’m finally at the point where I need to be done. I guess the real reason for holding on this situation-ship was the thought of him becoming something I wanted. But after not working for the past three weeks, I see this is always going to be a one-side situation-ship where he benefits everything and I get nothing but sex. I know have some toxic traits too. I know I can push a man’s limit. But after him going through my phone and seeing what he saw, maybe I am the toxic one. I asked him, “if I do things to piss you off all the time, why do you come back?” He said. “ I don’t know that’s what I’m trying to figure out”. See the irony in this? All the more reason why not to date her.
Yes, you read it right. I haven’t worked a full-time gig in the past three weeks. I feel this is a glimpse of my life last year around this time. I am doing the best I can do keeping my hopes and spirits up. And every single last conversation I have had with my friends or family has been nothing but positive. This is a really good time for me to rebrand myself and truly set out to do what I want to do. Even if that’s leaving Chicago again. I wouldn’t say I’m struggling but I’m definitely in a transition phase in my life. See the irony in this? All the more reason why not to date her.
I told “The Light Skin Fella” we don’t have anything holding us back from officially being done. The first night he went through my phone, he packed his stuff and left. He has nothing here and I have nothing in his presence. With everything I have going on with my career, I can’t keep arguing, nitpicking, and going back and forth. It’s not healthy on both ends. Be my peace when I come home after dealing with the general public all day. Be there for me emotionally because of my job situation right now. Don’t over-analyze what’s in my phone if were aren’t truly in a relationship. Don’t criticize me because of something I want to do and it’s not something you don’t agree with. See the irony in this? All the more reason why not to date her.
While I have it, I’m taking the time this week to work on being at peace with myself. Meditation and self- reflection baby! I always make lemonade out of lemons when life throws them my way. I can’t be sad, angry, or emotionally unstable. That type of energy doesn’t work for a person like myself. I had a really deep conversation with this guy the other morning. He said, “Tati people will manipulate if you let them. Making you believe everything is your fault when they are the ones that are struggling.” As I’m laying there next to him, I’m thinking maybe he is right. I have always been attracted to men who can hold an intellectual conversation after sex. See the irony in this? All the more reason why not to date her.
“The person who controls their emotions is the most powerful” -Brittany
So here I am finally able to write after having several emotional breakdowns. It’s supposed to be my blog anniversary month. I'm supposed to be happy of something I created and invested time and money in. I should be writing and planning events every day. But instead, I’m finding myself crying in the middle of the day, night, and morning. A couple of situations happened and triggered my depression. I wanted to lay in bed put the covers over my head and do nothing. That would be amazing if I didn’t have rent and other bills due. How suitable would that have been if I didn’t work in the service industry? Every day I was telling myself, “you got this”. Going into work knowing I don’t want to take tables or greet guest. But I did it and I pushed through. Now doesn’t that say a lot? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Letting my emotions get the best of me is a bad characteristic of myself that's hard for me to get rid of or change. And everything from work to my relationship with “This Light Skin Fella” has proven this. One of my male friends always describes bad situations as life lessons. Somehow once you learn to master it, new keys in life are given to you to open new doors. I truly think my life lesson in all this was learning how not to give a single fuck about things aka dropping it and letting it go. Most importantly learning how to pick and choose my battles. There was a moment I was avoiding mirrors until there were three mirrors I couldn’t avoid. The three mirrors who saw something was off with me. The three mirrors who wants the best for me. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
So here I am sitting here thinking about my next big move. There has never been a point in my life where I stepped away from something and didn’t receive a greater blessing. 8 years ago, I started this blog because I wanted something of my own that I can grow. What seems like a minor business venture for some was a major investment for me. As a creator/blogger you are always thinking about new ways to invent content and grow your viewers. While also keeping in mind the viewers that have been with you since the beginning. With me working so much, I haven’t been focused on this. One of my therapist’s told me anxiety is thought. If you don’t think about it, you don’t have it. No matter what always try to keep yourself busy with something you enjoy doing. Isn’t that crazy the moment I stopped focusing on this blog, my depression blew up? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you will accept in life, you’ll you find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that is far below what you deserve.”
Coming back from Vegas, I didn’t expect to get a phone call from “This Light Skin fella” girlfriend. Now it all makes sense. I always had the thought he was going to go back to her or was already somewhat back with her. But never thought she would call my phone asking who I was. I was angry, upset at myself. That’s not the type of woman I am. I’m bout my money and my business. I don’t have time for all the unnecessary drama. After a day of apologies. I let him come back. Obviously, that was a mistake. A week later what happens, another phone call, text, and drama through social media. As a woman, I felt embarrassed, disappointed in myself, and angry. My peace, tranquility of respect was destroyed by one little text message that was sent to her by an “anonymous person.” See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
While in Vegas, of course, I had to meet up with an old fling. And guess what people, all the feelings for him came back. Not to mention he won the respect of my owner and managers. I started to think if it was possible for us to do a long distance relationship again. I thought about the time we tried it while I was living in New York. It was a mess, and we stopped talking for a whole year. Our lifestyles were different years ago. He was going through somethings, and I was trying to get settled in New York. I can honestly say we are both at a better point in our lives now. And If I wanted to get on a flight and see him, I could now. For a moment, I completely forgot about “The Light Skin Fella,” while out there. That’s how much we love each other. If only I could let my pride and fears go and be in this long distance relationship with him, I would. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
I had a conversation with my therapist regarding somethings I have experienced over the past week. She mentioned how I hold onto grudges and have to learn how to move on when things are not in my control. And moving forward that’s what I intend to do. I remember when I was at that point where I was at peace with myself. That’s because I practiced self-care and also I was just a little worker bee. Today I woke up in Houston with my phone on do not disturb mode. All emails are off, and I’m not responding to any text messages or phone calls. I needed time to be alone and actually, write. Peace of mind. Regain and restore my energy. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“A vacation is time to clear your head and not always about the turn-up. It’s well needed relaxing, and that’s what you need”-Kierra
I’m ready to go back to Chicago, but I’m also not prepared to go back to Chicago. Reflecting back to the series of events with “The Light Skin Fella.” I really think it’s time to let him go. Can’t have a situation like that fucking up energy or peace. Maybe if he was honest in the beginning, we could have worked things out. Trying to find a healthy balance between my job and blog is tough especially in this new role. But coming back, I might be up for the challenge. I go always go by never cry over spilled milk. Get some paper towel and clean it up. And even though my energy is way off, that might be the affirmation I need to tell myself daily to get to me. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“Once you know what you want, do something about it every day”
Gonna keep this one short and sweet!
Well, damn people! I made it stage 28 in life. I can genuinely say I’m happy with my career. It’s funny how life sets you up. I went from corporate to bartending/managing and now taking on the role as coordinator of events and managing at the club is where I wanted to be in life. And even at 28, there are still characteristics of myself that I want to change. After my birthday hiatus and being hungover for 2 days, I decided to give alcohol a break. Not a week or two but forty days and forty nights. This is the spiritual cleanse that I may need and is something that I have wanted to challenge myself to do for a very long time. At 28, I want to challenge myself to push myself more into the things I want to see done in my future. And for this blog, this is going to be the most challenging step yet this year. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
I told myself I was done with “This skin fella” and after my last post, I thought for sure we were done. I can’t lie and say I don’t have a soft spot in my heart for him because, in reality, I do. Some days, I’m like “OMG” I really like him. And then it’s other days where I think about other guys who I have dated or currently dating and see what their expectations of dating are vs. what we have going on. And I think to myself well maybe he is going to change. But as a woman, I know a guy will never change for a female. If he is going to change then, he will do it on his own. And that’s just that. So now I’m sitting here thinking is this a waste of “our” time. We had a recent fall out where he even questioned us. If I would have known him and his ex recently broke up in November and not August I probably would not be all in my feelings over him. As of a matter of fact, I would be still sending him off. I know I am a handful and tend to think with my emotions. Again, a characteristic of myself at age 28 that I need to change. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
I went to sleep last night with just wanting to sleep. Didn’t even think about him not laying next to me. I just wanted to sleep. Earlier yesterday I went to the gym. I felt relieved. I forgot how the gym can be very therapeutic for a soul like myself. I have a lot of creative juices that are flowing right now. WOW! What a perfect time but to focus. Guys always ask me what else is that I do besides working at the bar. I tell them, “I am a blogger. I blog about my life and relationships. Don’t date me you may end up as material.” They laugh until they read it and see how serious I am. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“This is just part 1”......
A fuck boy in disguise is what I want to call him. And to be honest, if I had a chance to say it to his face it would probably make me feel a lot better. Like I didn’t know about the girlfriend, the girlfriend didn’t know our past either. That was until she read the blog. Now don’t get me, wrong people, I tell every guy I date about my blog. And “This One” knows he is mentioned several times in it. So why you bring your girlfriend to my event that is based around my blog that you are mentioned in? Did you not think that she was going to read it and put two and two together. As a woman, I can only imagine the way that she feels. But a part of me doesn’t really care. As always, I am doing what best for “This One,” and that's not talking to him at all anymore. However, this is more than likely the best for me. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Friends remember the first guy I had sex within the beginning of the year? Well, guess who is currently spending more time together? We are! “This light skin fella” had grown on me. But the differences I have had with others in the past is affecting us. I told myself I would never bring up anything that happened in my past situation-ships to my current ones. But I can’t deal with another lie, another wondering, and wasting more of my time. I think our biggest thing is communication. Granted sometimes I don’t communicate with him when I’m staying at work late. And he never communicates with me he is not coming back over. I understand every person is not perfect. I’m not looking for the ideal person. I know that doesn’t exist. But I am looking for communication and consistency and a level of respect for both of us. I keep expressing how I don’t want someone just to fuck on. I’m looking for someone I can build with. And since I started off the year with him like that, maybe he isn’t the one. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Overall, my event was a success. I had a great turn out regardless of the hiccups along the way. I made sure everyone there had a great time. I have a couple more events up my sleeve in the next month. At one point in January, I felt I had a lot going on. Too much and I couldn't grasp everything. I had to check myself to make sure I wasn’t going into a panic attack or back to depression. But like always, everything happens for a reason. And I could not be more grateful for my new job position at the club. I took some time yesterday during the polar vortex to self reflect on life. I know what I want. I see myself going into that direction. I looked myself in the mirror and said, “Chill, you got this.” Took a couple of deep breathes and was able to complete this blog. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“And now this is part 2”…..
I really hope that one day this blog gets picked up by some TV network and offers for me to turn this into a show or something. Brace yourself, people, because shit just got real!
Here I am standing here with both of them in my face. Knowing that I blankly had sex with one earlier that day and knowing that there is a possibility the other one wants to have sex. Didn’t mean for it to go down like this but it did. I was upset with “This light skin fella” because he didn’t come over for Valentine’s Day. He completely blew me off. In my mind, I’m thinking, “this is it, I’m officially done with him.” My other guy friend came over that morning to look at an apartment. I was laying in bed when it happened. The entire time “This light skin fella” is blowing up my phone. He looked over and saw who it was calling me. He questioned who it was, and I couldn’t lie to him anymore. I told him about us. He was kind of pissed at me and that fact that neither one of us mentioned it to him. I could have continued to not answer for “This light skin fella.” But at this point, he didn’t care. I expressed to “The light skin fella” that my guy friend was over here looking at an apartment which in fact he was. I kept my cool around both of them. My guy friend did tell me something about “This light skin fella” that validated all thoughts in my head. And when I asked “This light skin fella” about it, he lied to my face. The worst thing you can do is lie to me. So here I am thinking to myself whats better; to go hardcore crazy woman on him or keep my cool? But wouldn't be funny if my guy friend and I really had sex? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
It’s always some type of excuse on why we can’t go out. At this point, I'm over it. Why is it that I can call my other guys that I am dating and we can go out on actual dates. It’s not always about sex. This just isn’t going to go anywhere. I’m not going to make a scene. I will politely walk away. And if he ever asks, I would just tell him, “it’s not you; it's me.” “I know what I want. And what we are doing is something I don’t want”. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Next week, I will be 28, and I’m still mother fucking single! But I can’t complain that I have been successful in whatever career choice that I have made. If I could only make the same decisions when it comes to men. Since “This One” my trust with men is completely thrown off. Maybe its time for me to retake another break. I keep telling myself this but always find myself sitting there on a date with a guy in my face. I told myself after my birthday, I was going to go on a detox to myself ready for the spring. As I move into this new role, things are harder than what I am used to. So I questioned myself, is something I really want? Then I remembered, “move with a strategy, not with emotion.” See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“Him: Why are you single? I mean you are gorgeous, hard worker, you got your own, and no kids! So you mean to tell me no guy has wifed you yet?
Me: Because I ain’t shit literally…”
I did the first thing I said I wasn’t going to do in 2019 and that's having sex with someone that I have no emotional ties to. Why I did it? A temptation of course. Was it good? It was average. Could I see myself with him? Possibly, but the fact of the matter he knows someone else that I also mess around with is taunting me. I am aware that eventually, I do need to make a decision on which one I am going to fuck with. But until one of them wants to be exclusive with me, I’m going to keep this going. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
2018 opened my eyes a lot. I was broken down at my lowest and was forced to ask for help financially. You might look at me and say, “damn Tati is a true go-getter.” And though that statement might be very true, I can not forget the times that I cried scrapping up money to pay rent. I don't regret ANY decisions I’ve made in 2018. Why? Because those lessons also set my future and placed me in a position to network even harder. My mom always asks me what my end goal is. And I always tell her, my end goal is this blog. Funny thing is in 2018 I kept running into people who have asked me the same question. Because like her they believe its something more to me than bar/nightlife. I can not express enough how much I love what I do. I can not express enough how proud I am of myself with making a jump from up north sports bars to semi-upscale bar/nightclubs. And though there are sometimes where you do get tested, and caddy situations can arise; I am telling myself if it doesn’t make me money, it doesn’t make me happy. Therefore I don’t want any parts of it. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Any guy that I have dealt with in a significant way hit me up, and I’ve spent time with them during the last week in 2018. “My Love” popped up at my house while I was on a date with the guy I mentioned earlier. Same shit with “My Love” that its always going to be. He is not moving to Chicago, and I’m not moving to Indianapolis, and he doesn't want to do a long distance relationship. After our vicious feud at my job, “The Promoter” and I are slightly talking again. We agreed two wrongs don’t make a right, but I still can’t get over the fact he felt I was pushing him into a relationship. Oh Boy! If could see the number of texts that come through my phone daily, maybe he would understand I make every guy feel like that way. My “New York Boo Thang” never fails me when he comes to Chicago. Fancy dinner, fancy hotel room, and a flight to either Miami or New York next month. I like him. But like me, he works A LOT! However, someone has to secure the bag for artists to come in and do bottle service right? And last but not least, “This One.” I know I told yall that I have stopped talking to him, but I thought him and his girl was over with because he never mentions her. FALSE! I sold him a table for NYE and who does he bring with him? His girl! It took everything in me not to be petty and lash out. And a part of me was hurt when I saw them kiss. But I was the bigger person and introduced myself to her, gave her a hug, and thanked her for coming out. In the end, I don’t think he wanted to introduce us but if we are “friends” what is the problem? So I’m taking that as a sign just to leave him alone. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
2019 is nothing but daily affirmations for me, bigger goals, and events galore for my blog! By the way get your tickets now for Ladies Night Out Jan 20th ladiesnightoutexperience.eventbrite.com. I’m excited about this event but even more excited about my future. I am going after anything I want. There will be no holdbacks! And if you still wondering why not to date me after reading this, then grab a seat and pour some wine because I have a lot more to say. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“Sometimes you have to meet people where they at, At the same time honor your boundaries”.
-GLC the Ism
I have to admit my energy has been all over the place lately. And today I’m in one strange mood. I always get like this when my finances aren’t in the right order. I wish I would have taken another bar gig when I had them on the table. Now, look at me, wondering how can I get another bar gig. If I should even get another bar gig? Should I go back into retail? All of this plus my vivid dreams of guys that I have dated in my past. What does this mean? Me being the curious thing I am, I googled it. I don’t miss any of my ex's personally, but in some ways, I do miss the way they all treated me. But I would never go back not even to “This One.” See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
I lied when I said I didn’t want to date anymore for the rest of 2018. So here goes to the first guy I started dating after “This one” and after “DJ.” Ladies and Gents meet “The Promoter.” Now I didn’t want to date anyone in the industry, but he gets me. He understands that I have might have to get my booty rubbed on to get that extra $100 tip while doing bottle service. He understands the grind the hustle I put into working within the service industry.
Moreover when I complain I about my job, he always turns it into a positive and makes me see the bigger picture. But the fact that he wants to now slow down on spending time together because he needs to get his life in order makes me feel a way. Even though after our first date how I expressed to him maybe we should just be friends. When it comes down to it, all it took was a simple face to face conversation, some great makeup sex, and for him to tell me that right now I’m number 1. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Besides the promoter, there is also “The Jamaican.” After my last altercations with a Jamaican and Haitian in New York, I stopped dating any West Indie people. Until he changes his perspective on my career choice, I could never see myself long-term with him. The sex is amazing, but I will continue only to date him. Had my second experience with a football player. He stood me up on our first date because I told him that I didn’t want to have sex with him on the first night. Unless you are throwing money, my answer will be no. I didn’t even fuck “The Jamaican” or “The Promoter” on the first night. But I did have to tell another guy that I don’t suck dick because the sex was wack only to make him leave. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
After getting that strange letter in the mail regarding my trademark, It’s time for me to buckle down and focus. Had a great event planning session and proud to say, my next event will be December 9th. Everything happens for a reason. I like the bar/club that I am working at because of the connections I am making. Even though the money isn’t always there, I will continue to stay. Had the pleasure of serving some great Athletics, Rappers, Actors, and Actresses. I know how to network and will always stand behind, “Your network is your net worth.” Like my homie, GLC told me, “Shine baby. Patience is a virtue”. And honestly, I don’t have a choice but to let this little light of mine shine. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“We all have story to tell. Its just the way you go about doing it. ”. -2 am Thoughts
A lot has changed in the past month. Basically, it was my cleaning up house month. Cubs season is officially over. I’m moving to a different apartment soon. I made a life-changing decision for my body and health. I’m deciding which bar I would like to continue the rest of the year at. And I am officially done with “This One.” There were a couple of days where I found myself stressing over my choices. But then I thought to myself, these are not bad things to stress about. These are good things. At times you might to have to take a couple of steps back to put you right where you need to be in the future. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
As a woman, you should always listen to your intuition. And my intuition about “This One” was clear. For the third time, he has wasted my time. I knew he was dating but didn’t know he was a serious committed relationship. All it took was a lie and a scenario and boom! I caught him up. I told him that I met a girl who claimed they were in a relationship together. I even described how the girl looked. He said, “impossible because the girl that I’m with was with me last night.” Before you knew it, all hell broke loose on my end. I’m not upset at the fact that he is in a relationship. I’m more upset at the point he didn’t tell me. They have been together for 3 months. But we have hung out in those three months. As much as I don’t want to believe, this situation-ship was tonic too. I wasn’t strong enough to say no in certain instances thus him assuming that I would be okay with him having his cake and eating it too. I was sad for a bit, but like others, I will get over him as well. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Of course, I moved on someone else. Someone is who is my type, “Renaissance Man.” I met “Renaissance Man” during a shift at the club. We went out for a cocktail at 2 am. I liked our conversation, I liked him. He was my total package deal, and he lived four buildings down from me. I decided to see go him one Sunday after work. I also decided to drink a lot on Sunday after work. I was horny, still hurt from “This One” and was ready! I slightly blacked out and apparently told him, “I charge for sex but I not gonna charge you.” Two days later I texted him and told him we should be friends he didn’t agree, but it's for the best. For the rest of this year, I’m going to stick to the dudes that I do know and that includes fucking around with “DJ” once again. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
I’m happy to be surrounded by black women in power again. At the company I use to work, my operations manager was a black woman. At the club, both of my managers are black women. It’s a difference working for black women because they genuinely see the potential in you and gives you extra gems in life to succeed in that industry. I love working in the bar/service industry. And not a lot of people can say they actually enjoy what they do. I was having dinner with one of my best friends, and she also loves the work she does, and that’s the only reason why she is still with her company. But we know how to make money, we know how to run operations, why aren’t we out trying to own something? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
“I’m not here to suck on anybody’s dick. Sorry I got my own shit to worry about”.
When I left corporate, I wanted to be in an industry where I can be myself. And I found that being in the bar life. Yes, like any industry you have ups and downs. The most important factor is to always remember not to lose yourself in the money. Meaning being happy in whatever establishment you decide to work in. You being happy equals better tips and more money. But you have to be satisfied and enjoy the environment that you are in. I have already established that I am not fine dinning material. Not that I can’t be. I just don’t want to be. Call it me being stuck in my ways, but I enjoy the simple menus and fast, quick, tasteful cocktails. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
As baseball season starts to dwindle down, I have to think of my next steps. Ideally, I would like to work at three different bars. Three different clienteles, three different environments, three different ways I can make money. Three different bars five days out the week. Maybe if I feel up to it, I can pick up an extra shift or two on my off days. As of now, I’m in control of my money. I dictate which establishments have certain days. It’s all about having some type of control in my life so I can focus on my brand. When I was working at a bar and corporate, I felt I had no control over my life. I was working 7 days out the week and didn’t have any time to myself. And we all need that “time to ourselves.” Time to regroup, meditate, shed off the energy and vibes from others especially working in a customer service face to face industry. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
I told myself the rest of these months in 2018 will be to set myself up for 2019. I have bigger dreams and bigger goals. It sucks some days not having a companion. But I have some sort of peace of mind when it comes to dating and not worry about if he's out there fucking another chick or not. Like the fantastic actress, Eartha says, “A relationship is a relationship that has to be earned not to compromise for.” “I fell in love with myself, and I want someone to share me with me.” See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
Definition of table
: a piece of furniture consisting of a smooth flat slab fixed on legs
b (1) : a group of people assembled at or as if at a table
(2) : a legislative or negotiating session
(2) : an act or instance of assembling to eat : meal
I am officially done with retail yet once again. I got another job at a brand new bar with a club like atmosphere just like I wanted. It’s crazy when I thought was on the verge of getting deeper into my depression, I get something I wanted. It feels good to know that I will be working in three different bars but will have two consistent days off in a row. I will be basically making my own schedule which is something I like versus waiting on waiting on different job schedules not knowing if I will actually have an off day or not. My mind is little more at ease, and once I start doing bottle service, my mind will be even more at ease. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
My career is finally getting back on track can’t say the same thing about my love life. It’s not one guy that can hold my interest at this point. And maybe it’s because of the depression. I haven’t heard from “My Love” in two months. Not surprised honestly. It’s been the same thing for eleven years. We get back on good terms for a couple of months then he goes ghost on me. And when I finally do talk back to him, he is in a whole relationship. It’s okay; I fell for it again. Time to move on officially. Went to the Happy Place with “This One.” I thought he was going to agree to come up and cuddle and finish talking, but he declined. At this point, I’m ready to throw in the towel. I’m not hanging out with someone who makes me question my worth as a woman or has me looking in the mirror thinking, “what’s wrong with me?” “Why doesn’t he like me like that?” At this point it’s toxic. And I’ve had enough of toxic relationships in my life. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
It’s like I been saying, “you gotta know when to leave the table when you are no longer being served.” I left retail because I didn’t have the passion for it anymore. And corporate life isn’t for me and my personality. And though sometimes I may get a little anxiety talking to tables, after that first greeting I’m golden. If the things aren’t going anywhere between “This One” and I then it’s time for me to leave the situationship where it is. Looking at the expensive vibrator, he brought me for Christmas contemplating if I should throw it away or not. Remembering the reason why I stopped using it because I use to always think of him. When I told him I don’t use it anymore, he said, “let me know when you miss it.” I’m sorry sir but did I not invite you upstairs to cuddle which is an open invitation for sex. And after a year of sitting at this table, the dick is no longer being served. Friendship is okay but can you honestly have a friendship with someone you thought you could see yourself long terms with? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.